Who Is Cowtown Pattie?

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I was Lillie Langtry in another life, and might have a crush on Calamity Jane.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Have a Charmed Day, Ronni!

Here's to you, m'dear, and may your day be as fortuitous as finding a leprechaun's gold - or cereal ;-)

Though no other reader will "get" this birthday blogcard, I am betting Ronni, whose birthday is today, will be laughing her butt off. The rest of you may enjoy a laugh or two in predicting your sex life based on which Lucky Charm marshmellow you prefer - or none at all.

What better present for a birthday than the gift of laughter? (Okay, maybe a pot of gold would get a little more mileage).

 
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Green clovers:
If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is the green clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don't take anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to have a good time, even if you have someone else with you. You don't have any patience with depressed people and tend to sit on them until they cheer up.


Orange Stars:
If your favorite shape is the orange star, you expect to be the center of attention in bed. You expect your partner to spend most of his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you expect enthusiastic moaning if not applause. People who like orange stars often have mirrors over their beds, not because they are turned on by watching what is being done, but because they want to be able to watch themselves having a good time. They often moan out their own names while making love.


Pink hearts:
If you like pink hearts, you're the romantic type. You like your partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he's too distracted to form coherent phrases, you'll settle for romantic syllables. People who like pink hearts read most of the romance novels published and are turned on by people wearing armor.


Yellow Moons:
If you're the yellow moon type, you're more interested in satisfying your partner's needs than your own. You prefer to lie back and wait for your partner to jump on you and express her needs verbally or nonverbally. People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs of handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in case someone should ever want to tie them up and ravish them. Keep your eyes open for anyone who eats all the purple horseshoes out of her cereal as soon as she opens the box.


Those little oat bits that aren't marshmallows at all:
If you prefer the little oat bits, you probably don't like sex anyway and don't need to read this article. People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants, librarians who work at the reference desk, or government employees; these people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with oat bits before a tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock music. People who like oat bits have more time to spend writing letters to the editor than any other type.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You made all that up, right?

Heh, heh, heh. What does it mean if you don't care at all what color or shape the marshmallow bits are; you like any and all of the them?

I'm so old I remember when Lucky Charms were different colors, but all the same shape. I used to use the marshmallows as snacks and throw out the rest when they were gone...

Thank you, Pattie for the terrific birthday greeting.

Whisky Prajer said...

Lucky me - I like 'em all!

joared said...

Wow! You went around the bend on this one. lol To think of all the time I spent trying to learn information such as this, and all I needed to do was buy a box of Lucky Charms, then contact you to interpret the code based on what I was eating. Never get to old to learn, or for anything else, either.