He makes a very hilarious but dead-on serious gripe here:
That's only the tip of the Marlboro, though. If every piece of filmed entertainment featuring tobacco usage is to be slapped with an R, the ratings board might want to borrow a trick from the kids and call in a few pizzas and some kegs of Red Bull. They'll have to either airbrush or give the scarlet R letter to the entire Marx Brothers oeuvre and the Bob Hope and Bing Crosby pictures. Also out will be "Meet Me in St. Louis," "Lady and the Tramp," "E.T.," Bugs Bunny cartoons, "The Parent Trap," "Chariots of Fire," "Superman," "The Chronicles of Narnia," "Elf" and the World Series (which should be banned for its tediousness, not its players' incessant tobacco chewing).
Christmas won't be the same without you, Frosty--unless you replace your corn-cob pipe with a stick of Dentyne. And some Grinch had better get to work ridding every children's library of its copy of "A Visit from St. Nicholas" ("The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth/And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.")
To set the record straight, I am a non-smoker. I have been exposed to second-hand smoke most all my life and now have adult onset asthma. Connection? You be the judge. Nonetheless, sometimes Dudleys ( as in Do-Rights) cause more harm than the substance/behavior they are trying to save society from. There's always a train approaching a rope-bound helpless female in the Dudley world.
After reading Mr. Smith's little vignette, I started thinking about smoking scenes in movies. Of course, anything with the sublime Mr. Bogart would suffice or even the Divine Ms. D (as in "Davis").
Okay, readers, here's the request: post or email me your favorite or memorable smoking scene(s) from the big screen. What movies just wouldn't be the same if the smoking scene or characters hit the cutting room floor?
(1). Though I loved the movie, I coughed the entire full length while watching "Silkwood". Kept thinking how dumb it was to be fighting exposure to a potentially gene-scrambling substance while puffing away on coffin nails.
(2). Who could fall in love with a pipeless Captain in The Ghost and Mrs. Muir?
(3). And puh-leeze, no fancy cigarette holder for Burgess Meredith as "The Penguin"?
(4). Would Frankenstein be the same without this scene (and the haunting sound of Mendelssohn on the old fellow's violin)?:
Then the blind man puts a cigar in the monster's mouth
and lights a large wooden match that flares up in his face.
The monster, remembering the torches of the villagers,
recoils, grunting in terror.
"No, my friend, smoke -- gooood,"
and the old man demonstrates with his own cigar.
The monster takes a tentative puff
and smiles hugely, saying, "Smoke -- gooood,"
and sits back like a banker, grunting and puffing.
Or better yet, the hilarious Gene Wilder's Frankenstein with Peter Boyle playing the scene.
(5). Imagine Gomez Adams without his favorite smoke. Impossible!
Okay, Triflers, your turn! Flick those Bics!