Thursday, February 22, 2007

Stop the Catbox

That commercial where the two guys are trying to sing the lyrics to "Rock the Casbah" by the Clash? Made me stop to ponder what other lyrics get trainwrecked.

The Fool admits to it, and I have been known to butcher a tune or two with mistaken lyrics. And boy, don't you turn red when you're in the middle of a belted Stones song and someone starts snickering and says,

"Its 'I've been holding out so long', not 'I've been haulin' ass along', you idiot!"

Yes, I could have sworn Mick was haulin' ass. Sounds right for my part of the woods.

How about these? Anyone know these little jewels of mispronounciation?

Happy as a rafter in the market place
Actual lyric: Happy ever after in the market place
Beatles,"Ob La Di"

Hold me closer, Tony Danza
Count the head lice on the highway.

Actual lyric: Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway.
(Elton John "Tiny Dancer")

I shot the Sheriff, but I didn't shoot him dead you see.
Actual lyric:I shot the Sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputy.
(Eric Clapton)

I wanna die!
Actual lyric:Oh, what a night!
(The Four Seasons, "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)"

I wanna know
Have you ever seen Loraine?

Actual lyric:I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?
(Creedence Clearwater Revival)

I'll never leave your pizza burning.
Actual lyric:I'll never be your beast of burden.
(Rolling Stones)

I'm the god of Velveeta, honey.
Actual lyric:In the garden of Eden, honey.
(Iron Butterfly)

Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Actual lyric:Sweet dreams are made of this.
(The Eurythmics)

Okay, folks, your turn, hit me with your pez shot.


joared said...

As a young 'un during WWII I thought the words to a popular novelty tune then were:

"Marzy doats and dozy doats
and little lams ah divy,
Ah kiddle dee divy too
wooden you."

I thought it was weird 'cause it didn't make any sense to me, but I worked hard to remember all those nonsense words and the rest of the lyrics.

Many years later I learned there were real actual words:

"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy
a kid 'ill eat ivy, too,
wouldn't you?"

Give me a break! I was just a small child then, after all -- trying to fake it, rather than ask anyone.

DarkoV said...

A high school acquaintance of mine that I bumped into recently let me know, with minimal provocation from me (I guess "How you doin'?" now counts as provocation/incisive questioning these days) offered up to me, as we were in the express lane of a local supermarket, that he was sufferring from acute incontinence.

As I warily backed off to one side, just in case he had to make a mad dash out the door to alleviate the situation, I recalled that he was the fellow who mashed up the lyrices to Creedence Clearwater's Bad Moon on the Rise. His ears somehow processed the chorus of:
"Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.
" as
Don't go out tonight.
Well, it's round about your wife.
There's a bathroom on your right.

We, being your normal sadistic Catholic boys, reminded him of his CCR interpretation for years.

Poor guy; he's now in perpetual search of that bathroom on the right.

Erin said...

I don't know if you recall this mom, but when I was younger I truly thought that Steve Miller Band song "Joker" went like this:

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight talker

I think it took me until college to figure out he says "toker" and not "talker." Obviously I didn't know weed lingo.

George Wallace said...

You forgot Bob Dylan's heart-renderin' expression of his desire to get to know the founder of Playboy magazine a little bit better:

All I really wanna do-oo-oo-oo
Is, maybe, be friends with Hugh.

Annie in Austin said...

The first time one of my kids played that Clash song my dirty old mind heard "F*** the Casbah" and I started railing on the poor innocent child.

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

Trace said...

Ohio State University Song:

"Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on.."

I was but a youngster. This is my excuse ya' know. I used to sing the chorus in this way:

"Hang on soupy, soupy hang on.."

I know there are other songs I mutilated a time or two. Can't remember them all.

Rick said...

REM's multi-syllabic rendition of the word Fire, in The One I Love always sounds to me like he is either saying Diana or Viagra.

Cowtown Pattie said...

Ya'll just crack me up!

Hi, Rick!

Anonymous said...

Jimi Hindrix: "Sccccccuse me, while I kiss this guy."

Should serve as a cautionary tale before we wander into any Purple Haze.

- Texas T-bone

Bill said...

Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light" comes to mind ... I still have no idea what the chorus is, even though I've read the lyric a number of times. I'm sure there's a feminine hygiene product mentioned in there.

Roberta S said...

Joared's comment about "mares eat oats, etc." was exactly my experience as a child.
I was so amazed when I found out what the words really were.
The other song that comes to mind was the lyrics "It's a fine time to leave me, Lucille" -- we all sang our hearts out with...
"It's a fine time to leave me, loose wheel."

Joared said...

Glad I wasn't the only one all goofed up about "mares eat oats, etc." I'll tell you I can't understand half or more of the lyrics in many rock tunes, and wish I could remember the spin I've put on more than a few of them.

As for Ohio State's "Sloopy" -- that arrangement was done by a Grad. who wrote a marching band arrangement(s?) at a Texas University -- not sure which one. His name is John Tatgenhorst -- wrote about both over at my place in the archives.

Anonymous said...

there 2 pac song that went "california.... knows how to party" lol and jamie used to sing it "california , no doubt about it" ha ha. can't ever figure out pearl jam lyrics so i make up my own as i tend to do, oh and i always mess up the smokey and the bandit sond track what was it " east bound and down, loaded up and truckin;? and what the heck does that mean anyway?love, Lara

Deejay said...

I'm coming a little late to this thread, but there's an archive of these misheard lyrics, searchable by artist or record:

It's good to find out how many people have the same imperfect hearing I do.

Anonymous said...

my mom thought that the song Angie by the rolling stones said "I ain't Jeff" instead of "Angie"'s a weird resemblance.