Saturday, December 27, 2008

Auld Lang Shoot 'Em Up!

**This is a repeat from a few years ago, but the neighbors still reside two doors down. Fortunately, we have yet to get an encore of their first year's New Year celebrations. May we stay so peaceful.

Picture it - nearly midnight, all safe and cuddled in our bed watching the clock and poised for a super New Year's kiss. Closer our faces near, feeling each other's breath in the dark, lips almost touching, then...

In the pasture behind our house, a semi-automatic pistol disturbs the sleep of small field animals and our special moment. Shots ring out in succession, one, two, three, four, five, six. A pause, then repeated assaults of the peace of the night.

Kman is furious. He shoves his feet into his house mocs and heads out to the patio. I follow, asking him to be careful and convinced Superman never deflected bullets with Fruit of the Loom sweatpants. The hillside behind our house is illuminated in a small amount of waning moonlight, and we see three adult (a misnomer there, huh!)men slinking through the tall grass back to a house on our street two doors down. Hopefully, they are not so drunk they are senseless to using a safety on guns while clambering over fences.

Loudly, into the chilly night air I announce "I'M CALLING THE COPS" in their general direction. Maybe it worked, though I am not sure how much English ellos comprenden; at least I didn't hear anymore Shootout at the OK Corral crap after that.

Kman watches them retreat back to their own yard and disappear into the overgrown shrubbery. A few notes of slurred laughter, a door opens and shuts, then all is quiet. These are new neighbors from south of the border and their shennanigans are not an especially good way to impress us.

Maybe it is customary in Mexico to shoot guns off willy nilly to announce a new year, but this ain't Nuevo Laredo, vecinos.

Doesn't exactly make me wanna bring homebaked cookies over to them now. An anonymous note explaining Texas urban etiquette might be more in order, with promises of a little visit from the local Mayberry boys if they don't straighten up and fly right!

I am such a tough number and fearless, you know.

Ahem.

2 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

Argh!!!!!!! Fireworks at midnight is more our style in my 'hood although a few blocks south where the gangbangers play a gun might get fired! And they ain't Mexicanos, amiga! I just pray they stay where they are until I can move a bit north. I feel sorry for your vecinos -- sorta -- if they annoy you again!

RG said...

Greetings from the W-Bar-E beyond the Brazos outside of Stephenville!

Like your style! Best way to stop meskins from shooting off thier pistoleros is to fire off about 5 quick rounds up in the air yourself. Works every time. :-)

Your and Kman drop in at the http://www.gringoranch.blogspot.com/ and shoot the bull with us anytime you can!

Happy New Year Pattie!