Friday, April 13, 2007

You Have Two Cows

Category Seven: Famous Cows

The Raven
You have two cows. They sit on the bust of Pallas just above your chamber door. Which is a pity, because it was expensive.

The Raven (2)
You have two cows. Only this, and nothing more.

The Telltale Heart
You have two cows. You kill them and bury them beneath the floorboards. The sound of their mooing drives you mad.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Using the Infinite Improbability Drive, you accidentally turn yourself into two cows.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2)
You have two cows, neither of which know where the tea is.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (3)
You have two cows, but you don't know where your towel is.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (4)
You have two cows. Don't Panic!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (5)
You have 42 cows.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (6)
You have two cows. One is accidentally killed by Arthur Dent, then bitches about it.

William Wilson
You have two cows. One of them is the doppelganger of the other. You, too, are one of the cows, though it's not clear which one. You go mad trying to figure out which is the original.

The Cask of Amontillado
You have two cows. You get them really drunk and brick them up in your basement wall. "For the love of God, Moo-tressor!" "Yes," you smile. "For the love of God!"

The Moos
Keepin time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the reeling of moos--
Of the moos, moos, moos, moos--
To the reeling and the pealing
Of the moos, moos, moos,
Moos, moos, moos, moos--
To the moaning and the groaning of the moos.

Johnny Mnemonic
I can carry nearly eighty gigs of cows in my head.

1984 (1)
Grazing is being Hungry.
Running Free is being Eaten.
Having Two Cows is being Without Livestock.

1984 (2)
Two cows are watching you.

1984 (3)
You have two cows. Your neighbor has two cows. Between the two of you, there are five cows.

1984 (4)
You have two cows. That is Doubleplusungood.

Fight Club
Here's how to make real cows.

Blade Runner
Do androids dream of two electric cows?

Star Trek
You had two cows, but then you beamed them down and couldn't beam them up again because of obscuring Pallathean energy mists. Och, captain!


Star Trek
You have two, relatively normal-looking cows. But every new cow you get has fascinating and progressively more complex head-ridges.

Star Wars
Two wise cows you have. Well-versed in the ways of the Moo they are. One cow asks the other cow to push him off the building, and when he does, the first cow seriously regrets it. The both carry sabers of coloured milk.

Don Quixote
You have two cows. But wait!! One is an mad knight errant and the other a cantankerous but funny squire. They have decided to battle a windmill.

8 comments:

Elisson said...

This is the "Completely Demented" side of Cowtown Pattie, a side I'd love to see more often. 'Course, that's because I'm completely demented...

Trace said...

Oh God, how clever and delightful Patti!

Foo said...

You're obviously in need of professional attention. But not just yet, okay? Not until you've completed those last couple HHGTTG novels that even I never heard of.

Foo said...

p.s. - I can't believe there was no "cow tilting" in Don Quixote.

bakerina said...

I am speechless with admiration -- unless, of course,hysterical laughter counts as speech. Patti, that was just grand. :)

bakerina said...

See, I'm still laughing so hard that I can't even spell your name right. I'm losing my e's all over the place, here!

Cowtown Pattie said...

Hey, guys I would love to accept these heartfelt compliments, but I would be a sham - I didn't originate this composition, though I am sorely tempted to be a plagerist and wear the jeweled crown for a day...

But, hey, thanks for stopping by. Door's always open, and the beer is cold.

Hello, Foo! What a great moniker!

SpookyRach said...

That was too funny! Well-versed in the ways of the Moo... BWAAHAHAHA!