Tuesday, November 28, 2006

New Lyrics for the "Boilin' O'tha Drain"

Or, How I Almost Ruined Thanksgiving '06.

The following post was also left as a comment over at Verging on Pertinence, but I decided it might be cathartic to 'fess up here. Blogging is cathartic, no? Or, is that "Catholic"?...hmmm.

Dearest blogbrudda, DarkoV, was discussing the boiling of the drain after his own holiday festivities. Must be written with a turkey feather quill somewhere - "Thou Shalt Stopputh Up Thy Drain Every Thanksgiving".

See, "Catholic", I told ya.

Kman knows I get in a tizz over holiday cooking. I am such a control freak, everything is made my way or no way. "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", sort of mantra.

So, trying to stay out of my way, Kman plops down in front of his computer thinking about finding some new music files. I recently had found some html language that accessed a gazillion music files and all free for the taking. Ahem.

Kman wanted me to help him find that html code I had emailed to him once; he could never get it to work for him.

Short story - I left a Texas-sized skillet filled to the brim with the veggies for the broccoli casserole simmering on the burner. Got distracted by trying to get the darn code to work on Kman's machine. Returned to find the pan full of scorched food.

Pissed off, frazzled, and a wee bit bitchy, I dumped the whole mess into the sink and fed it to the disposal.

Except it was way too much food at once, and fibrous vegetable matter at that... you can guess the outcome. Gurgle gurgle.

Friday, Kman rented a "snake" to the tune of $40.00 and wrangled the clog to submission.

Bless his big ol' heart, he never once raised an eyebrow...come to think of it, he didn't look me straight in the eye, either.

Oh well. The dogs will get over their undeserved cussin' faster than me. They are great surrogates when you wanna yell at your wife but know she reigns supreme in the culinary department.

True story.


Anonymous said...

And I'm sure the dinner was incredible anyway.

Anonymous said...

Am I too intently reading between the lines here, but has the K-Man been k.o-ed for the clogging of the drain because you weren't tending the family hearth because you were helping him find free music?
Sounds like that "free" cost $40.00 and a herd of glowering looks.

Me? I'm waiting for someone to come up with a cookbook utilizing the kitchen disposal unit as one of the cooking appliances. You've got to believe there's someone out there with too much time on their hands. If a cookbook detailing how you can cook meat on your car engine is available, then kitchen waste disposal units are soon to be instrumental in new nouveau cuisine.

Roger Bourland said...

broccoli casserole? dern, woman, that sounds more connecticut than texas. i don't look to you for such effete culinary efforts. you are supposed to be my hero.

Cowtown Pattie said...

Jim, broccoli casserole is always best with a little bit of fiery temper tossed in! Thanks, but I was disappointed in my dish this year. Too much cheese I think...is that possible?

DV - you were hiding around the corner *grin*? Ugh - disposal cuisine just doesn't seem right. Hmmm- consider the source!

Roger - even cowgirls love broccoli if its smothered in cheese! You gotta eat your spinach, baby. Hero, huh? Made my day, pilgrim!

Anonymous said...

Too much cheese? didst thou just blaspheme?

Just call it cheese casserole (with a special appearance by broccoli).

Mildred Garfield said...

That happened to me too, only it was when I peeled a lot of carrotts and all the peels went down the drain. The disposal let me know in no uncertain terms it was NOT happy!!

The peels ruined the disposal so I had to buy a new one at a god-awful price!!

And then there was the time I put a lot of cabbage down there - finally learned my lesson -

I hardly cook anymore ;-)

Karen said...

I have learned many lessons the hard way with a clogged disposal. The incident with the overabundance, disposing of leftover pasta was the final straw around here. We no longer rent a snake. Hubby owns one.
Bless his heart.

Anonymous said...

Blogging is definitely not Catholic. You must be confusing it with some other "mass" medium.

I figure if a drain doesn't get clogged or a smoke alarm doesn't go off, it just ain't Thanksgiving.

What's up with our weather? I never heard of "thundersleet" until yesterday.

- Texas T-bone

Trace said...

This sounds so like me.

SpookyRach said...

I agree, Thundersleet is so totally made up. Pleeze.

I'm lovin' some good brocolli casserole. Yum! Yum!

You cracked me up, Pattie.

joared said...

Yeah, I'll go for that brocolli casserole, but preferably BEFORE you scorch it or run it through the disposal. My dtr brought out a similar recipe last year from VA. How did you get it?

We must be doing something wrong here, because our Thanksgiving, other holiday clogged drain problem always emanated from a room other than the kitchen with a porcelain installation to which we all trekked sometime AFTER dinner.

Plungers sometimes provided temporary relief there, but sooner or later we had to call in the little man with the snake, or even more high-powered grinding equipment if the blasted city-owned tree roots have been exploring again.

We couldn't take the tree out. They wouldn't. We couldn't sue them to pay for the plumbing expense without their permission. You think permission was granted??? Duh!!!