A Girl Could Die in the City

A Girl Could Die in the City

Weren't we told growing up that we could not only fry up the bacon but bring it home as well - and look damn sexy in an apron? We were the liberated females of the sixties and the seventies. Ahhh, but now we are questioning that naive wisdom. What happened to the golden goose? She has lost all her shine, her silky gown of gossamer feathers, and the twinkle of fun in her eyes. Her feet are mired in urban muck and her wings forever clipped.

The truth is you can't have it all without tremendous personal sacrifice - the reality behind that glossy magazine ad. Wife, mother, housekeeper, chauffeur, maid, laundress, cook, accountant, nurse, sex goddess, and corporate drone are just a few of the daily roles to fill. Then, just when a light at the end of the tunnel appears as the goslings slowly leave the pond, it flickers but briefly to be hidden again with care for aging parents. Don't get me wrong, most of us do what we do out of love and really don't begrudge our family. But there comes a moment, late at night, when you awaken out of a deep sleep. The nightstand clock says 4:00 AM, and a familiar sense of dread for the morrow creeps in. When did you start to dread a new day? To quote the lovely Erma Bombeck, "If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I in the pits?" Indeed, what happened to that young girl who was going to accomplish great things, travel to the far ends of the earth, and make the world a far, far better place?

Life happened.

We put off our dreams and console ourselves by thinking they were unattainable in the first place. The real world is a harsh taskmaster. Bills have to be paid, families raised, retirement planned for. Somewhere amid all the "have to's" we lose spontaneity and the optimism that was so easily, breezily taken for granted in youth.

Lest I sound like a candidate for Prozac, I might submit the following: I truly have found a mate who nurtures me, loves me, and is the very reason I want to try to be all of the above. Ours is a new/old relationship and based on real respect for each other. New in that we have been a couple for only four years; old in that we were longtime junior high and high school friends. While I may never visit Ireland, nor ever write the great American novel, I have other compensations. And hopefully, in the not too distant future, my husband and I may together have adventures and a time for just the two of us before the porch and the rocking chair claim us.

I think I shall start marking the days off the calendar.