These are not my own wittiness, but came to me via email from my daughter:
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Butt Out All
15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By
6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
And the Number one song is. . . . .
1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up
With A Few
Ouch - watch it with those 'maters!